Breaker, Breaker, What’s your handle?

In April just as I was about to sign the family’s tax returns I received a call about a survey. I played a long and answered all the questions – as I came to realize the caller wanted my opinion on my state’s U.S. Senate seat that will be up soon. Opinion about politics….OF COURSE! As with all surveys at the end they needed some information to make sure that they were getting a random sample like age, married status, household income etc. Then came the question that when posed I wasn’t sure how to answer “Ok, we are almost done, can I ask you for your occupation?” I quickly shot back “My job is my 3 year old son” to the inquirer’s reply “ok we will put homemaker. Thank you for your time, bye, bye.” *click*

Hold on a minute! Do I identify myself as a homemaker? Is that what I am? When did I go from a married woman with a family and a Masters Degree to a homemaker? The label of homemaker is bothersome and is so out of date that I cringe when I see the word and have even crossed it out on my tax returns when my occupation is labeled as such. I would much rather not have an occupation that be given one. No woman or man should be labeled as such, and don’t go giving me the politically correct b.s. about domestic engineer either. It means the same thing, someone just used the Thesaurus to come up with a fancy translation. (and my Masters degree isn’t in engineering)

Individuals that work, man or woman, have a label and occupation. They are doctors, teachers, executive directors, secretaries, truck drivers etc. but what happens on that day that you decide you are going to stay home or, in this economy, get laid off and stay home with your children. All of a sudden you aren’t unemployed (that’s a different category), but rather something else. It’s kind of a gray area since technically you get paid for your occupation. Those who stay at home do not.

Look. I am a mother and I stay at home. So that makes me a SAHM – understandable. But I also am a blogger, which is seems there a lot of SAHM out there that do the same. But is that how I identify myself or occupation? Still the answer is no – I have yet to find someone to fund my blog. I also volunteer for several organizations, one through the community I live in and one through my church. Does that make me an activist? Sure, but still not my label or occupation. It’s called volunteering for a reason.

So where does someone who stays at home voluntarily, without any income stand in the world of labels and niche categories? I have yet to come up with a name or category for people like me, but please, please, please don’t label me a homemaker, domestic goddess (although I will take the goddess part) or anything else that will simplify who I am.

15 Minutes

Being a SAHM I've come to realize that unless there is a plan of some sort for the day, it can go by very s-l-o-w-l-y.

That is why on those days where there isn't anything to look forward to, like a trip to the grocery store (sad isn't it), playgroups, classes, etc, my day usually breaks down into 15 to 30 minute increments. This is because there is the planning process of "15 minutes before baby needs to eat, nap or sleep" and then an implementation process of "OK, 30 minutes for baby to eat, play, or read". It's not that I have baby on such a regimented schedule that I only give baby 15-30 minutes for a particular activity, but rather that is usually as long as baby's attention span.

To tell you the truth, this is helpful, very helpful. While I am sure many out there might think that my OCD has kicked into high gear, you try not having a plan with a 21 month old who is constantly wanting to play with the snow shovel in the house, if you don't keep hims busy. Then tack on a few days of baby being sick and not being able to leave the house. THEN, there is a whole new level of time management!